jonathanchaoDOTcomâ„¢

I felt completely out of place.  I feel old.  I really can’t relate.  Just in case you haven’t been out in a while, there is a new disturbing trend of hip hop that has come about in the past few years- coined Hyphy. 

What in the hell is up with the “HYPHY” movement?  It really doesn’t sound good, the lyrics simply don’t make ANY sense, and it’s just simply annoying.

According to Wikipedia, “Those who consider themselves part of the Hyphy movement would describe this behavior as acting “stupid” or “going dumb.”  Much to my suprise and dismay there were plenty of kids out this past weekend who WANTED the attention of looking stupid by actually doing so.  I can’t believe that they actually thought they looked cool dancing like a bunch of fucking monkeys in a cage.  Actually, I laughed when I saw one actually jumping back and forth with his arms around his armpits like a gorilla.  At least I know eventually that gene pool will clean up a bit since NONE of them will be getting laid anytime soon.

I don’t understand the current generation of rappers. 
I don’t care if this makes me feel racist, but man, all the rappers in the “Hyphy” movement are black.  Does the African community in America really need to strengthen the stereotype of them being dumb, obnoxious, and stupid?  What ever happened to the good old stuff rappers used to talk about?  Good stuff like 187, political stuff, smoking weed, having good days, smacking ‘da hoes, fucking the bitches, and MONEY!?!?!!?!?? 

The Hyphy movement is raps about sunglasses, ghost riding, and sideshows.   What is the appeal of that?  The latter two are both examples of darwinism at it’s finest.

Now I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I’m not that stupid to stand on MY CAR!

Someone please, PLEASE, explain to me what the appeal is to being part of the hyphy movement? 

This is HILARIOUS.

Today, It is my official birthday.  I am sore, exhausted, and hungry.  Suprisingly, I’m not hungover.

I have been celebrating since Thursday night.

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A play by play:

Thursday:
Went to a professional mixer in Palo Alto.  Didn’t eat dinner.
I had:
1 Amstel Light
1 Vodka Cran
1 Glenlivet

Met up with Jimmy then went to the old Studio 8 for drinks…8 drinks later, got home and fell asleep.
I had:
1 Vodka Cran
1 Purple Hooter
1 Remy Martin Shot
2 Grey Goose Chilled
1 Pineapple Kamikaze
2 Shots of unknown liquor(s)

Friday:
Went to my birthday thing at Whisper.
I had:
19 shots of Grey Goose in varying forms
i.e. Goose Cran, Goose Tonic, Goose Chilled

p.s. Thank you all who came.

Saturday:
Sat around being lazy and watching movies all day.
Went to Stephen’s birthday at CPK and Myst (old Ibiza).
10-12 shots of Goose (some were doubles, hence the range).  *damn you Joe!!*
Crab Ceviche, Tacos, and Eggs afterhours…mmmm
Got home at 5:30AM.

Sunday:
Woke up at 11am for the Giants game.
Afterwards went Paintballing and In-n-out burgers…and now I’m in PAIN!

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Summary:
I have survived another birthday.

I have killed a few million brain cells, weakened my liver from consuming 40-42 shots this weekend, bruises from flying paint, and an ulcer from an obscene amount of ballpark garlic fries and spicy ceviche. 

Please, for the love of god, no more Grey Goose or Vodka for a while.

Not looking forward to next year.

*edit- added fare of the day

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I was in Amsterdam last week.

While waiting for my plane back to Toronto from the land of Heineken, I was having a beer at some random bar.  There wasn’t a Football (Soccer) game on, so I just sat there, drinking my beer, listening to some guys talk about women…and how crazy theirs are and can be.  As this was something I was quite familiar with (okay fine!, almost expert), I joined the conversation.  Over the course of the next hour or two, we were swapping crazy women stories, buying each other beers, laughing the time away, and relieved we weren’t the guy we were sitting next to.

I have a hunch.  No matter where you are in the world, all you simply need to say to a group of guys is, “Women are crazy!”, and you have just about found yourself your new best friends.  It is an INTERNATIONAL phenomenon and I guess is something that all guys can relate to.

At the end of it all, I learned something I didn’t even know I learned until today.  Something said in the bar that night struck a cord so hard that I repeated it to one of my oldest friends.  I guess bored guys drunk are just bored drunks, but bored drunk guys talking about women suddenly become genius philosophers.

He met a new girl a few weeks ago and I asked him what attracted him to this new girl so much.

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LostSock21:: so yeah, what attracts you so much to this chick?
Friend: very intelligent, seems to manage money well, good career, pretty good looking
Friend: and my standard crap…. nice eyes, nice smile, nice ass
Friend: she says some of the most witty intelligent sarcastic things
LostSock21:: okay sounds good
Friend: grew up poor = not overly spending, knows the value of money
Friend: family oriented…. she flew her mom down to LA last weekend
Friend: what else…..
Friend:  and we get along really really well
Friend: I think this chick might be smarter than me
LostSock21: : hah wow
Friend:  like straight IQ-wise
LostSock21:: you might as well purchase a ring now
LostSock21:: haha
Friend:  ahahahahaha
LostSock21: : cause by the book, it ain’t gonna get better than that
LostSock21: I had a good conversation with some guys in a bar in amsterdam
LostSock21: one guy told me, if you go about looking for the perfect girl, with all the requirements you think you want, you’ll end up alone
Friend: that’s true
LostSock21: what you should be looking for instead is one that you get along with great, makes you happy, that you love and will love you unconditionally, and I guess…won’t kill you.
Friend:  ahahahahaha

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I now sit here and am thinking back about my previous relationships and where they have brought me:

Happiness, Smiles, Smiles, Elation, Love, and Hope. 

However, I shall not forget the fear, panic, dread, heartache, or infinite sadness I have endured.

All the time I may have been looking for my unicorn- the perfect woman for my ideals.  Maybe she simply doesn’t exist.  Maybe she does, but my requirements are too stringent.  I suppose I should think about what I’ve been looking for in the past and modify the list to emphasize, “one who gets along with me“.

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What do you look for in a significant other?  Do you have a list or is it all by feeling?  What makes the perfect guy or girl for you?

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Jon’s fare of the day:
LAX-GUA (Guatamala)- On Taca- 253 Taxes Included.  Good in April and most of May.

So I was eating dinner at home today and my Dad turned on the TV. The first show that appeared was “The Amazing Race“. It is a “race” of sorts around the globe for challenges or stunts of sorts to win a grand prize. As an avid traveler I am jealous of the opportunity that the contestants have, but am shocked about the behavior of all of the teams.

Dirty Americans:
I watched with utter disgust as it showed the utter ignorance of the team members and am now completely understanding of the phrase, “Dirty Americans”. In the episode I watched (Malaysia), none of the teams seemed to be polite to locals. One team even went as far as berating an older local gentleman because he didn’t seem to understand them enough in ENGLISH to give them directions!

Oh, the HORROR! An older Malay doesn’t know how to speak ENGLISH!??!!?!?

Maybe they didn’t realize that they were in Malaysia! If I were there, I’d have pummeled them. I can’t imagine what they would do in a country that speaks no English…like China. Being from San Francisco, we get our fair share of tourists. However, I don’t ever recall seeing one get pissed off because I couldn’t understand in French or German or Japanese to give them directions to where they needed to go.

I wonder how many of those contestants know how to speak at least ONE foreign language to give directions to a foreigner?

I do understand the concept of a race, but bottom line of what disappointed me the most, in an opportunity to introduce the different cultures of the world and travel experiences to MILLIONS of Americans, the show didn’t do so. I felt sorry for the contestants as NONE of the teams were interested in any of the local culture or even cared to look around. To figure to travel tens of thousands of miles and not even take a moment to appreciate it.

What a pity.

My question:

Would you ever WANT to be a contestant on the Amazing Race?

I got this in an email and it made me laugh.  One of the few I suppose.
*****************************************************
Very important information.

It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one liter of water
each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one
kilo of e-coli bacteria found in feces, in other words, water-drinkers
are consuming one kilo of poop each year.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine, rum, whiskey,
vodka, beer or other liquors because alcohol has to go through a
distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

It is better to drink wine and talk shit than to drink water and be
full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I am doing
it as a public service.
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You’re welcome.