jonathanchaoDOTcom™

This is HILARIOUS.

Today, It is my official birthday.  I am sore, exhausted, and hungry.  Suprisingly, I’m not hungover.

I have been celebrating since Thursday night.

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A play by play:

Thursday:
Went to a professional mixer in Palo Alto.  Didn’t eat dinner.
I had:
1 Amstel Light
1 Vodka Cran
1 Glenlivet

Met up with Jimmy then went to the old Studio 8 for drinks…8 drinks later, got home and fell asleep.
I had:
1 Vodka Cran
1 Purple Hooter
1 Remy Martin Shot
2 Grey Goose Chilled
1 Pineapple Kamikaze
2 Shots of unknown liquor(s)

Friday:
Went to my birthday thing at Whisper.
I had:
19 shots of Grey Goose in varying forms
i.e. Goose Cran, Goose Tonic, Goose Chilled

p.s. Thank you all who came.

Saturday:
Sat around being lazy and watching movies all day.
Went to Stephen’s birthday at CPK and Myst (old Ibiza).
10-12 shots of Goose (some were doubles, hence the range).  *damn you Joe!!*
Crab Ceviche, Tacos, and Eggs afterhours…mmmm
Got home at 5:30AM.

Sunday:
Woke up at 11am for the Giants game.
Afterwards went Paintballing and In-n-out burgers…and now I’m in PAIN!

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Summary:
I have survived another birthday.

I have killed a few million brain cells, weakened my liver from consuming 40-42 shots this weekend, bruises from flying paint, and an ulcer from an obscene amount of ballpark garlic fries and spicy ceviche. 

Please, for the love of god, no more Grey Goose or Vodka for a while.

Not looking forward to next year.

*edit- added fare of the day

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I was in Amsterdam last week.

While waiting for my plane back to Toronto from the land of Heineken, I was having a beer at some random bar.  There wasn’t a Football (Soccer) game on, so I just sat there, drinking my beer, listening to some guys talk about women…and how crazy theirs are and can be.  As this was something I was quite familiar with (okay fine!, almost expert), I joined the conversation.  Over the course of the next hour or two, we were swapping crazy women stories, buying each other beers, laughing the time away, and relieved we weren’t the guy we were sitting next to.

I have a hunch.  No matter where you are in the world, all you simply need to say to a group of guys is, “Women are crazy!”, and you have just about found yourself your new best friends.  It is an INTERNATIONAL phenomenon and I guess is something that all guys can relate to.

At the end of it all, I learned something I didn’t even know I learned until today.  Something said in the bar that night struck a cord so hard that I repeated it to one of my oldest friends.  I guess bored guys drunk are just bored drunks, but bored drunk guys talking about women suddenly become genius philosophers.

He met a new girl a few weeks ago and I asked him what attracted him to this new girl so much.

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LostSock21:: so yeah, what attracts you so much to this chick?
Friend: very intelligent, seems to manage money well, good career, pretty good looking
Friend: and my standard crap…. nice eyes, nice smile, nice ass
Friend: she says some of the most witty intelligent sarcastic things
LostSock21:: okay sounds good
Friend: grew up poor = not overly spending, knows the value of money
Friend: family oriented…. she flew her mom down to LA last weekend
Friend: what else…..
Friend:  and we get along really really well
Friend: I think this chick might be smarter than me
LostSock21: : hah wow
Friend:  like straight IQ-wise
LostSock21:: you might as well purchase a ring now
LostSock21:: haha
Friend:  ahahahahaha
LostSock21: : cause by the book, it ain’t gonna get better than that
LostSock21: I had a good conversation with some guys in a bar in amsterdam
LostSock21: one guy told me, if you go about looking for the perfect girl, with all the requirements you think you want, you’ll end up alone
Friend: that’s true
LostSock21: what you should be looking for instead is one that you get along with great, makes you happy, that you love and will love you unconditionally, and I guess…won’t kill you.
Friend:  ahahahahaha

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I now sit here and am thinking back about my previous relationships and where they have brought me:

Happiness, Smiles, Smiles, Elation, Love, and Hope. 

However, I shall not forget the fear, panic, dread, heartache, or infinite sadness I have endured.

All the time I may have been looking for my unicorn- the perfect woman for my ideals.  Maybe she simply doesn’t exist.  Maybe she does, but my requirements are too stringent.  I suppose I should think about what I’ve been looking for in the past and modify the list to emphasize, “one who gets along with me“.

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What do you look for in a significant other?  Do you have a list or is it all by feeling?  What makes the perfect guy or girl for you?

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Jon’s fare of the day:
LAX-GUA (Guatamala)- On Taca- 253 Taxes Included.  Good in April and most of May.

I got this in an email and it made me laugh.  One of the few I suppose.
*****************************************************
Very important information.

It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one liter of water
each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one
kilo of e-coli bacteria found in feces, in other words, water-drinkers
are consuming one kilo of poop each year.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine, rum, whiskey,
vodka, beer or other liquors because alcohol has to go through a
distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

It is better to drink wine and talk shit than to drink water and be
full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I am doing
it as a public service.
******************************************************
You’re welcome.

新年快樂！(Happy New Year)

To do list:
Renew passport .  I didn’t realize that I only had 4 months left on my passport until I was adding the passport information to my ticket locator to go to Europe.  Unfortunately, I hear there is a lag because of the new passport requirements for travel to Canada and Mexico.  Smart move GWB.  As if a kid can’t make a fake passport on their computer.

Pay city payroll taxes.  More taxes- Enough said.

Fix car-  It seems every so often, things break on my car all at once.  Then it runs fine for a couple of years.  Does this happen to anyone else?

Eat dinner with friends.  I’ve noticed that since I opened up the business, I haven’t been spending enough time with my good friends as I should.  Going out drinking with them hasn’t been helping me release stress.

So, who is down for dinner?

_______________________________

As a sidenote, does anyone know how to support this guy?  Is ther an online petition or a fund for his legal defense?

LINK

I applaud this kid.  He is standing up for all of our rights and those of everyone with a camera.  I am not the eyes and ears of our government, we are not living in the times of the SS or in East Germany. 

I recently remembered that I had about $300 cash credit from an unused ticket from the previous year and recently I found out that it was going to expire on Nov 29th if I didn’t fly. Not wanting to loose 300 bucks, I figured I might as well fly to NYC for a day, eat well, and fly home. Therefore, I booked a redeye flight from SFO to NYC for today (29th) and the only available seat back was for the following afternoon. At checkin I asked how full the flight was and to see if I could get a row to myself, but was told that the flight was overbooked due to an earlier flight being canceled and the airplane to be used was swapped to a smaller one. I immediately put myself on the “volunteer” list. I figured I’d get a $250 or $300 dollar voucher and a rebooked flight, but much to my surprise the OPENING offer was simply a $1000 credit on the airline, a hotel room, and a choice of flights.Oh my supruse! I got a $1000 voucher and a prime rebooked seat from SFO to NYC on Friday and a Sunday Redeye return. I declined the hotel room, but was happy to accept the taxi voucher., Hopefully the return flight will be overbooked also so I can get a few hundred/thousand more in credit. If this keeps up, I hope I don’t have to pay for flights anymore! I almost feel bad for the airline….there were thirty some odd volunteers who needed to be taken off the flight. So hey probably spent almost $40k in compensation and hotels.Something I learned as former frequent traveler, some airlines give all voluntary denied passengers the same incentive. So therefore if you accept $200, but to get the plane off the ground they offer other passengers $300. You can get the extra $100 simply by sticking around and asking. Not all airlines do this, but many do. It might pay to stick around until the plane is off the ground when in this situation.Now all I have to figure out is where to crash in NYC.